if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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