Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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