She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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