i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So squirting runs in the family.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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