Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
