I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize