went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
