Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
