the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
