I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
