just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
