just tell him i said nine months
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
