im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
