Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

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(360): View more from Washington

he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk

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(206): View more from Washington

she told me i tasted like america

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(916): View more from California

My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

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(415): View more from California

Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.

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