Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
