she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
