I just threw up on my dentist
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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