Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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