it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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