It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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