so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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