ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
