problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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