Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
