there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
