He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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