Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
