Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
