You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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