...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
its not stalking. its research.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
