walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
