Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
