So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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