Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize