I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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