She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
