I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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