i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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