just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
