She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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