how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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