Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
