I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
