love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
