Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
