I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
