sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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