he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
