I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Panties = found
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
