YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
