fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
