well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
