Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
