me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
