yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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