You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
