i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
