well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
