I'm laying in your front yard are you home
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
