ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
