You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
