Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize