I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
