So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
