I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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