yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the condom got lost in my hair
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize