i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
love makes seman taste better
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
